Friday, June 15, 2012

Satire: The Pre-School

Welcome to Princess Margaret Secondary School, home of the Mustangs…welcome to daycare. Where you’re expected to act like an adult but are treated like a child. Late to class? Don’t worry, the stern talking to you’ll receive will not be harsh. Homework not done? Again, don’t worry! You can hand it in 2 weeks later and still get a full mark. If you procrastinated and didn’t study for your upcoming test, no worries, you can talk to the teacher and postpone it. All these wonderful devices to aid in your childishness are right at your fingertips here in Princess Margaret Secondary School. The expectations here are simple: do anything you’d like! No consequences, no penalties, it’s all good. The fact that I can literally go to Tim Horton’s during class time and still receive no punishment is great! High School is a pretty great place to just get away with anything really. Take last week for example, I decided to go to a party and didn’t do the homework assigned. It was all good, I just handed it in 3 days later and got an even better mark than I expected. High School really is the best place to act like an adult and make adult decisions.    

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

College Application

            Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. I, however, just happen to have all.
            I have climbed Mount Everest, wrangled a hog, and read War and Peace in one sitting, all while cooking a feast for the Queen of England. Performing open heart surgery, repairing the 2011 Olympic Torch, and passing math 12 with Mr. Killick are only a few of the encounters I’ve successfully completed.
            I am 5”6 and 3 quarters. I’ve taught Sidney Crosby how to skate, Tim Tebow how to throw a touchdown, and taught the Sedin Sister’s to shoot a puck. I play soccer. Creating Apple, Microsoft, and the 10-Minute Brownies only took me an hour to do. Jay-Z idolizes me. Adele adores me. Channing Tatum loves me. Mrs. Sutherland despises me. I got my N.
            I helped Anne Frank write her diary. “O’Canada” is my anthem. I don’t ride horses, I ride woolly mammoths. I don’t eat hamburgers, I eat beef burgers. I don’t walk, I saunter. I ran, I jumped, I skipped, I hopped across Russia, and only received one blister. Keeping the peace is my second job. I can’t dance.
            I’ve been around the world in 79 days, constructed the Eiffel Tower, and been a blonde for 72 hours. Cats cuddle me, dogs depend on me, snakes smile at me, and lizards love me.
            And yet, I have not attended university.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

No Return

                                                                          No Return

In the last voluntary movement of his life,
                 He meanders.
The promise of a Saturday liquid with sunshine
                       Intrigues him.
There were circular tins glinting with silver
                           Fragments of glass.
Narrow trees adrift with yellow leaves
Edge nervously along the back and past the front.
                               His children gathered
And quickly an uncertain guilt creeps in.
Their heads seem empty, their smiles nonexistent
                                     Lighting the windows
Following the car with their unblinking eyes
His wife, he realizes, will not have returned

Monday, April 16, 2012

Letter of Concern

Mr. Kleats
Central High School
123 Main Street
Sportstown, British Columbia
V2A 1W3

Taylor Charley
124 Main Street
Penticton, British Columbia
V2A 3W1

April 7, 2012
Dear Mr. Kleats:

Hello, my name is Taylor Charley, and I am the mother of Robby Charley. My son is a member of your  soccer team, the Penticton Panthers. I would like to thank you for your efforts to spend your time coaching my son alongside the rest of the team. However, I have written to explain some personal concerns that have risen throughout the course of the season. As a concerned mother, I would like to work with you in fixing these minor issues, and suggest ways in which the Panthers organization can be improved for everyone.

Throughout the last several weeks, I have noticed that your tardiness has been less than average, in regards to your arrival to practices. I understand your busy schedule, in which you manage to juggle between your roles as a father, worker, and coach. However, more often than not, you arrive to practice late, forcing the kids to practice in unproductive ways. In the instances when you show up in a timely manner, the practices have been disorganized, including little to no drills. Nevertheless, I would like to gently remind you that when you accepted your position as coach of the Penticton Panthers, you agreed to foster the player's skills of effort, teamwork and responsibility. If you were to show these qualities in your coaching, the children will be much more receptive to what you have to say, both during games and practices.
A few of your game-time decisions have also left me, alongside Robby, slightly concerned. For example, last Saturday I watched our team's game against the Summerland Snipers. I understand the pressure of competing against our largest division rivals, however I was taken back by your actions. Although there was no score, you ignored the team's usual substitution policy, opting instead on keeping our more gifted players playing for the majority of the game. This left Robby off of the field for the remainder of the afternoon. Furthermore, I overheard your elevated voice at half-time, stressing above all else the importance of winning that game. I applaud your passionate coaching style, but in U-10 soccer, the extra emphasis placed on winning can be considered pointless.

After airing these grievances, I would be delighted to make suggestions for the betterment of the team as a group. At the moment, your attendance record implies that coaching the Penticton Panthers alone has become too time-consuming for your lifestyle. As a stay-at-home mother, I would be able to lend my afternoons and perhaps adopt the role as assistant coach for the Panthers. With a two coach system, your role as head coach will no be taken away in any such way. I would organize practices, run some drills, and encourage the players at half-time. With us at the side of the Panthers, I foresee the remainder of the season being fun, rewarding and a great learning experience. Thank you for taking the time to read my concerns and solutions. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,



Taylor Charley

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Creative Hour

For the past five years, I've worked at OK Falls Parks & Rec as a camp counsellor for the day camp there, as well as an events coordinator. Over the past years, I've had to experience some crying kids, and some very messy days, but some weird things seem to stand out in my mind. One of those weeks was when we had forty-five kids all at once come in, and only four counsellors. We were all running around trying to figure out what we would do with all them. Someone had to be with the older kids and two more had to be with the younger ones, but someone also had to be taking the attendance, and someone in the office. All I remember was running around constantly counting how many kids we had while answering the phone. Thankfully, our volunteers showed up thirty minutes later and we were saved. All the staff was beat, but we still had six more hours to go.
Another weird and funny day at work was the last day of our camp when one of the other counselors got a little taste of what karma was like. All week he had been teasing the laughing at the other workers and on the last day it came back at him. Ryan had just mopped the floor and put up a warning sign about the floor being slippery. Not a minute later, he came running in to jump at his sister, when he slipped and slid across the floor into the cupboards. Everyone could not stop laughing at him. Our boss ran in and had heard what happened and she as well started to laugh. Later that day, we went out for our annual staff pizza party and karma struck him again. Ryan being the obvious clumsy one, spilled a pitcher of ice tea all over himself. We could not stop laughing at him. Later when we handed out our funny awards for everyone, I gave him the Ozzy Osbourne impersonation award, but really he should have gotten the biggest cluts award.

Awesome

Once i started thinking about the small awesome things in life, I thought about how when my dad is home, he always has coffee, tea or hot chocolate ready for me as I'm getting ready to run out the door. He is always sure to get up and ask me what I would like for my lunch and if I would like to bring a hot drink to school. When my dad has to go away for work, I realize that the little extra help in the morning, him having my travel mug ready to go, helps to put me in a good mood throughout the day just because I got a cup of tea for the ride to school. It's one of the little things I really appreciate!


Another little awesome thing I've noticed is whenever I come home from school or a friends house or any other place, the first person to always greet me is my dog, Jack. He runs up to me and wags his tail and starts to give me puppy kisses. Even if I'm gone for five minutes, its the same greeting I get every time he sees me. He is such a suck up that even if you get mad at him, you can't stay mad because he's just too darn good at using his powers of cute. It's just one of the great little things that I look forward too every day.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Novel Journal Entry

'I told him I was studying hard because I wanted to become either a veterinarian or a geologist specializing in the Miocene period, when the mountains out west were formed. I was telling him how geodes were created from bubbles in lave when he interrupted me. "For the daughter of the town drunk, you sure got big plans," he said.
"Stop the truck," I said. "We can make it on our own from here."
For some reason, this quote in the book really struck me. Jeanette is a young twelve year old with big hopes and dreams to help get her family out of the same harsh cycle. In this quote, she obviously does realize that her fathers a drunk, but won't stick up for him or just agree with it. Jeanette is much more aware of her dads situation because she is much closer with her dad then any of the other kids in the family. It seems to me that Jeanette wants to believe in her dad and know he'll get better, but she still knows that it obviously won't happen. She tries to just cover it up and pretend like its nothing, but in reality, she is quite aware of what is happening, but just won't admit it.